Monday, 1 July 2013

To Fly or not to Fly? (cause I'm corny like that)

Half an hour researching how to stay sane on planes and I ain't got much. There's some number out there, that dictates the amount of people who shake every time they get on that small space of a plane. I've never been one of those people, until tomorrow at least. Tomorrow I get on a 14 hour flight, followed by a 9 hour one very soon after, and I'm shaking at the mere thought of it. Now, I've never been one to be scared of flying. I've been on too many short flights to count and a few 9 hour ones. I love flying, everything about it, I think is great. And I've never had more than that quick thought that questions the air in the cabin which is dismissed quickly. But when I think about it now, my mind swells in a hopeless blobbering mess and I just wait for the panic attack. Which have been happening lately. I don't like small spaces where I know I can't get out of. I'm one of those people that'll take the stairs. Not because I don't like being in the small space of the elevator for a minute, but because what if the elevator breaks down and I'm stuck in there for an hour. Constraint is my problem, not the small space itself. Still, I've been reading all these ways to counter a panic attack but I doubt them. Let me list them. - Reading: I can't read more than three paragraphs of anything without stressing out (I have an issue reading things these days, I have to repeat sentences, go back, really concentrate, and in the end it stresses me out and I get close to a mini panic attack). -Listening to music: I've never really been into music in my life, so listening doesn't distract me. -Watching movies/tv: I have to watch kids movies because other ones are too long and complicated and I get bored. But kids movies are easy to watch and so my mind wanders. -Breathing: If I start inhaling deeply, I'll just start thinking about all the air I'm wasting. -Talking with others: I'm not flying alone, except no one knows I have this issue, and no one is going to know. So I can't talk about it with them. Also talking in general, I'm going to be sitting next to my sister, and if she's enjoying her movie, she's not going to want to talk to me. -Drugs: yeah no, I'm not taking that option. -Aisle seats: I'm shy, I don't like empty space like that next to me. -Window seat: I'll look out and wish I was enjoying the air out there. -Understanding the plane: I know where they keep the lemonade on the drinks trolley, I know the plane. -Thinking happy thoughts: I think this whole problem is in my mind, I can't distract myself with my own mind, right now it's practically impossible. I don't know when the last time was I just let my mind drift. Perhaps this is more than claustrophobia or fear of flying. I'm not expecting the plane to crash though, however I do get scared whenever there's turbulence. I'm also worried about having such a horrible, stressful time there, that I'm not going to be able to get on the plane coming back (I wouldn't mind living there, but I doubt immigration would agree). In the end, I think the best thing to distract me is going to be the meal (I actually think plane food is the most exciting food ever, I absolutely love it, even if it tastes like cardboard). Well, I have now had my little, oh gosh I'm going to run away screaming what do I do, moment. I think this fear I feel is really just something within a greater mess of my mind. It is all just in my mind really, and I know that, but it's hard to conquer you're mind, when all you have is itself to conquer it with. Once this flight is over, I'll be back on here, sharing how I went. My hope is that I'll get on that plane and feel comfortable with it because I've flown so much. All I need to do is not think about it. Wish me luck!

No comments:

Post a Comment